Sometimes talking to your partner helps but sometimes it just cannot change the person completely. A lot of things matter when it comes to understanding your partner’s nature.
Every relationship paces up and down, affecting the individuality of people who are in love with each other. You learn, grow, and you stay together, no matter how hard the going gets tough. Sometimes, however, things may get out of control.
A lot of problems happen when you start comparing your relationship and your partner with your definition of an ideal couple. You fill your heart and your mind with unrealistic expectations and desires, which makes the relationship a lot more complicated.
You often do the mistake of burdening your relationship with all kinds of wishes and expectations from the same person. You want your partner to play the role of a best friend, who can always be there- the role of a father, who is always there to pamper you- the role of a boyfriend- who loves you and makes your life a fairytale. You often forget that above everything, your partner is a human being who deals with his/her own expectations and wishes from you too.
Expecting your partner to perform the best in every role you want them to play is an unfair thing to do. It is important to understand that no relationship is perfect. There are a few things that just cannot be fixed in a relationship, no matter how hard you try. Trying to fix things in a relationship is only going to make things harder.
Here are 8 things that you need to stop trying to fix in a relationship before your relationship turns into something you never dreamt of.
1. Different beliefs and ideologies
Things might have been different when your relationship started in the beginning because those initial days have charm, occasion and the most important thing, an effort to make things work.
It was different. Now, you are already in a relationship and your partner is living every day with you. You might realize that your partner has a different perspective and a way of looking at things.
You might have different perspectives and beliefs from your partner’s. Fighting over things that are innate in both of you is like putting your relationship through the toughest and harshest phase.
It wouldn’t be a wrong thing to say that, there might be some things you both can change about each other, to become a better person as a whole, but expecting your partner to love to cook just because you do, is too much.
However, your partner can definitely help you cook or be there with you so that you both are involved in the same thing and the bond gets stronger. Therefore, do not force your partner to look at things the way you do, because it is only going to damage the relationship.
2. A tendency to cheat
The concept of cheating is very complex. It is something that has no justification but also has some justified points. No matter how much you are in love with your partner, the truth remains untouched that there are a lot of attractive and interesting people around the world, that can catch your attention. However, it is about how understanding and clearing your and your partner’s minds about the same.
However, there are somethings a person can only change when they find something wrong with it. Your partner might have left you with doubts and suspicions, you might have caught your partner taking interest in someone else apart from you.
It is up to you what you would want to do with it. There are some people who cannot help but flirt with the opposite sex. It is your choice, whether you want to stay with a partner of different interests or move on.
Sometimes, talking to your partner helps, and sometimes it just cannot change the person completely. You need to make sure that you are not letting this situation become an excuse for your partner, to hurt you every time while you forgive them. Not every relationship is meant to last forever. You cannot force someone not to cheat, the loyalty comes from within. If your partner has disappointed you a lot of time, then it’s time for you to let it go.
3. A tendency to argue all the time
There is a fine line between discussing and arguing which most couples do not remember when they are talking about something serious. If your partner has always been the one, throwing arguments at people, then it is something that cannot be fixed. Just because a person argues, doesn’t mean that he/she is bad or feel less for you. A lot of things matter when it comes to understanding your partner’s nature.
Your partner might have had a different upbringing, that leads them to become this way. However, daily arguments spoil the relationship. The best way to handle such a situation is by listening. If you let your partner speak everything, without interrupting them with your points, then it is quite possible that after a while, you will be able to explain your point in a better way.
It is a hard task to do, but it depends on you, whether you want to find a mid-way to work things out, or just break-off the constant mental imbalance you both go through.
4. Owning different priorities in life
It is very important to understand that, just because you have always kept your partner on the top of your priority list, doesn’t necessarily mean that your partner has done the same. Priorities differ, passions differ and desires differ in a relationship. It is futile to expect your partner to change how they have been living so far, for you. Your partner might try to change things for you, but to expect them to act, behave and love in the same way as you do, is not going to lead you anywhere. You might end up hurting yourself and misunderstanding your partner.
You need to understand that, just because of your partner doesn’t put you on top, doesn’t mean that he/she doesn’t love you. There might be times when your partner keeps you at top of their priority list, and there might be times when you are not there at all. For example, if your partner wants to hang out with his/her friends this weekend, and you want to spend time with him/her, there might be some chances that your partner wants to be with friends more than to be with you.
You will have to understand that, when you are in a relationship for a long time, things are not just and only about you. And, that is okay, because your partner is going to come back home to you only.
5. A tendency to not open up
Not everyone is comfortable talking or opening up about what they are going through. Your partner might have never opened or expressed his/her desire with anyone in life. You might be the first one with whom your partner might feel a little comfort to be around when it comes to emotional vulnerability. It is possible that this nature of your partner might be hurtful to you.
However, it is important for you to understand that your partner might not change at all because he/she has not been taught to do so. You can either teach them to speak up, open about each other, or you can learn to comprehend their nature. It is a hard thing to do, but, sometimes this is how you and your partner can work things out.
6. A tendency to be secretive
It is not necessary that your partner is comfortable in sharing each and everything in detail with anyone. There are a lot of people who are secretive and reserved about a lot of things. You need to understand that, all those things that might be important for you to know, don’t come under the same importance level for your partner. Therefore, they skip that part which might interest you.
This is something that your partner might find it hard to comprehend. However, your partner might not mind been asked by you about things you would want to know. Therefore, in order to avoid your heart and mind conspiring points against your partner, why don’t you just ask your partner yourself?
7. A tendency to be irresponsible
Not everyone knows how to be responsible in life. This something that people learn when you put responsibilities on their shoulder. Your partner might be one of them, who is irresponsible towards everything. For an example, small things like your partner might have a tendency of leaving their things everywhere they go, and sometimes very important things. This is something that your partner cannot fix or change about it.
Therefore, instead of fighting this and reminding your partner about how careless they are, you can take care of their things and provide them with things that are important for them. The love that you both share, might be enough to create an understanding level between, making things work.
8. A tendency to seek reassurance
There are some people who are insecure about the love they receive from you. This does not mean that your partner doubts you or doesn’t trust you. Sometimes, your partner might want to hear how much you love him/her because hearing it makes them feel confident, secure and relieved.
Therefore, it is important that you understand this part of your partner, and not ask them to change. Because sometimes, reassurance is the only thing that keeps them going, happily.