“A lot of marriage is just saying ‘Oh, you’re in here’ when you enter any room.” 😂
By Kelsey Borresen
Getting married is exciting, so full of joy and anticipation. Being married, on the other hand, is slightly less thrilling and often consists of nights spent listening to your partner snore and squabbles about hard-boiled eggs.
Ah, the joys of married life! (OK, we promise it’s not all bad…)
Below, we’ve gathered 26 hilarious and relatable tweets that describe marriage to a T.
Marriage is just your spouse perpetually standing in front of the kitchen drawer or cabinet you need to open.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) April 10, 2018
My husband has 2 pairs of crocs so all I’m saying is don’t rush into marriage
— JPo (@Peauxtassium) April 16, 2018
My wife bought 24 Hostess cupcakes for my son to take to school tomorrow for his birthday treat. I didn't know that's what they were for. I hope 8 kids are absent tomorrow.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) April 8, 2018
A lot of marriage is just saying “Oh, you’re in here” when you enter any room
— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) April 10, 2018
Me: I'll pick up the check.
Wife: We have a joint bank account.
Me: You're welcome.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 14, 2018
Eventually marriage becomes two people yelling “What? Where? Huh?” at each other until one of them dies.
— Willie (@Willie1derful) April 22, 2018
Idk if anything in life prepares you for the day your husband starts wearing a pinky ring
— OldCardigan (@MizzusT) April 22, 2018
Me: Do it.
Husband: You sure?
M: yes. It's Friday night- let's get crazy.
*he pushes "play next episode" on Netflix*
— Katie Didn't (@Pork_Chop_Hair) April 8, 2017
"dear diary, today I saw one australian shepherd and a lab and-"
wife: are you writing in your stupid dog log again?
"diary, the wife is still jealous that she missed seeing the aussie. he was perfect."
— Das Skoogeth (@Skoogeth) April 22, 2018
wife: What happened to you?
me: I took a nap
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) April 12, 2018
Me: [boiling water]
Wife: No, not like THAT!
— ᴋᴇᴠɪɴ ᴡ ᴋᴏʀᴘɪ (@kwkorpi) March 31, 2018
My husband and I have reached the age that neither of us will get up to investigate even the strangest of noises.
— Jackie Bouvier (@jackiembouvier) April 7, 2018